Raising Bilingual Kids (Sin tú serlo)

¿Es posible criar hijos bilingües sin aunque tú no lo seas? Pues sí. Y no lo digo yo, lo dice la ciencia. Este episodio responde a muchas preguntas que tenemos como padres sobre la educación de nuestros hijos en cuanto a la enseñanza de idiomas. ¿Se van a confundir si les exponemos al inglés desde muy pequeños? ¿Qué podemos hacer desde hoy mismo para que puedan desarrollar esta habilidad? ¿Me tengo que dejar todo el sueldo en clases? ¿En qué deberíamos enfocarnos? etc.

+ Te cuento mi filosofía sobre cómo hacer que disfruten del inglés y que no sea una experiencia estresante, tanto para ellos como para ti.

Transcript

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Bye and another episode of English with Nane, a podcast design specifically for how you talk more with your English. We will talk about a thing that I encourage. We will talk about if it's possible to be bilingual after you don't see. And I'm going to marry the reason is sí. It is a see. I will talk about studies that are affirmation, cognitive that observe in people who appreciate more than an idiot, and I will see what your kids disrupted the regalo enorme that hearing a second idioma. So we're going to work at this in English. You are listening to episode 29 of season two of English with Dane. Hit it. So we say that kids' brains are like sponges, but not just because they absorb things fast. What's actually happening is that during the first years of life, their brains are literally wired for language. Billions of neural connections are forming every second, and when a child hears speech, those sounds literally sculpt, esculpen, they literally sculpt their brain's wiring, como el cableado, their brain's wiring. They start mapping patterns, sounds, rhythms, tones, long before they even say their first words. By age three, they've already mastered the core structure of their native language without ever being formally taught. No grammar books, no flashcards, just exposure and interaction. It's one of the most mind-blowing examples of how the human brain learns, naturally, socially, and effortlessly, until we grow up and start overthinking everything. Now, when it comes to a second language, the process changes a bit, but the brain is still incredible. Kids can easily build two linguistic systems at once without getting confused. Their brains learn to separate and switch between them depending on context, almost like running two apps simultaneously without crashing. As we get older, this flexibility fades, or diminishes, this flexibility fades a bit, and the brain becomes less plastic, meaning it's less sensitive to new sounds and patterns. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. It just means adults learn more consciously while kids learn intuitively. In other words, children acquire adults study, and that's the beauty of it. The reason kids are so ridiculously good at picking up a second language comes down to something I've talked about a few times on the show, a concept called neuroplasticity, which is basically how flexible the brain is. So in early childhood, the brain is in overdrive, which basically means that it is operating at full capacity. It's in overdrive, todo jundo. Their brains are constantly forming and pruning, recordando, pruning connections based on experience. There's also what linguists call a critical period, which is essentially a window roughly until puberty, when the brain is especially tuned to pick up sounds and grammar patterns. This is so cool. During this time, kids can hear subtle differences, diferencias sutiles, subtle differences adults can't even detect, which is why a five-year-old can sound native after a few years abroad, and a 35-year-old will still struggle with more basic sounds after a decade. The craziest part is that their brains don't just memorize language, they're actually building it almost like an operating system being installed on a computer. They create grammar rules on their own, test them, adjust, and repeat, all while playing, eating, and living life. It's kind of like a biological superpower we all once had, and one that with the right environment, kids still use effortlessly. So here's the good news. You don't need to be a neuroscientist or a native speaker to take advantage of this process. You also don't need to be an English teacher. You just need to create conditions that your kid you just need to create conditions that keep your kids' brain curious and exposed, but also engaged with this second language. Here's how I want you to think about this whole process. Don't think of it like a classroom in which you're the teacher. That's way too much to ask of you, and it can even be counterproductive. You should think about it more like you're planting a seed, okay? The soil, la tierra, the soil is the environment, and your job is to just make sure it gets enough sunlight, water, and time. Basically, the rule is the more meaningful the exposure, like stories, songs, or real conversations and real experiences, the deeper the roots grow, las raíces, the deeper the roots grow and the stronger the roots become. Now listen, the next thing I'm going to say is really important and I want you to really internalize it. If your child isn't two years old anymore or five years old anymore, please do not panic. Yes, younger brains are more flexible, but older kids have their own advantages too. Tienen sus propias ventajas, they have their own advantages. They have better memory, better focus, and also better reasoning. They can understand patterns consciously, notice similarities with their first language, and learn through motivation instead of pure imitation. And that's super, super important for you to understand. Basically, a 12-year-old might not absorb sounds like a toddler, but they have a huge advantage over toddlers. They can actually choose to learn, and that's incredibly powerful. So don't stress out if your kid is six or nine or eight and you're thinking it's too late. That's not the case. What matters most isn't age. What actually matters is consistency and connection. And I'm gonna say that again. What matters most is consistency and connection. You can't think of language as something you pour into their head or something you fill their head with. It's something you actually build together one word, one video game, one TV show, or one song or whatever at a time. I also want to be clear about this next thing. This isn't like a hack that you're learning about on Instagram or TikTok, okay? We have years and years of scientific evidence to back this up, para respaldarlo, to back this up. There are a bunch of studies about neuroplasticity in children and how effective this trait or characteristic is when it comes to language learning. My favorite studies about second language acquisition aren't even about language itself. Yes, they'll learn faster because their brains are more malleable and more flexible, and because they are primed for language learning, but the real benefits, I believe, come almost as a side effect, un efecto secundario, as a side effect of acquiring this second language. There's a study from 2013 that's really cool by Dr. Krista Byers Heinlein and Dr. Janet F. Werker, who are two of the most respected researchers in the world when it comes to infant bilingualism and early language development. So Dr. Byers Heinlein is a developmental psychologist and professor at Concordia University in Montreal, and Dr. Worker is a cognitive psychologist and professor at the University of British Columbia, both pioneers in the field. This 2013 or 2013 study showed some really, really interesting stuff. The main finding, and you can use finding as a noun, the main finding that I want to talk about is one that dispels a myth, que des miente un mito, that dispels a myth. The myth that children are gonna get confused when exposed to two languages. That's not the case. So if you're worried that you're just confusing your kid by exposing them to two languages, you can forget about it right now. Their study showed that babies and toddlers are not only not getting confused, they actually become really good at managing two systems. Their brains don't struggle, they adapt. This is more related to really young kids from birth up to toddler age, by the way. But what's crazy is that babies can literally separate languages visually, track who speaks what, and hold both systems in their head before they can even walk. Again, their brains are built for this. So if someone says that you're going to confuse your kids, or if you've ever thought that people are confusing their kids, then you're going against the science. And listen to this yes, but it's clear. Bilingual babies can even watch a silent video and still know which language someone's speaking just by the mouth movements. Their brains are built to sort or organize, to sort, separate, and store languages before they can even crawl. Antes de gatear, before they can even crawl. But that's just stuff that I think is really cool and interesting. So let's talk older kids. Let's zoom out to toddlers and older kids whose brains are still incredibly adaptable but starting to use more complex thinking. There's a woman called Ellen Bielistock, definitely saying that wrong, who works at York University and who is one of the top bilingualism researchers ever, and her research shows that bilingual kids develop stronger executive function, which is the part of the brain that controls attention, working memory, and decision making. Basically, her research shows that bilingual kids get really good at noticing what matters and ignoring what doesn't. And because they constantly have to choose which language to use and suppress the other one, their brains get daily practice when it comes to managing interference, and this is really important. It's like their mind is doing little workouts all day. Bialistok calls this the bilingual advantage in attention and cognitive flexibility. And what drives me crazy about all of this bilingual stuff, and this is just on a personal level, is that nobody talks about this aspect of bilingualism. So bilingualism isn't just about job opportunities or travel. It literally changes the way your kid thinks. When they switch between languages, they're training the part of their brain that focuses, filters, and adapts. And studies by people like Ellen Bialystok show bilingual kids have better attention control, problem solving, and creativity. They tend to be more empathetic because they grow up reading social cues and figuring out who speaks what. And that awareness turns into emotional intelligence. So actually, you're not just giving your kid another language, you're giving them a cognitive advantage for life. So now that we know how kids' brains are ready to learn languages and the advantages that this process gives them for life, let's answer the question that started this whole thing. How can you, as a non-bilingual parent, actually take advantage of that? And how can we do this in a way that doesn't require huge sacrifices or huge financial undertakings? I want you to come out of this episode thinking, okay, that's doable. Doable means factible, right? Doable. And I'm sure you got that from context, just like your kids would, but they would probably do it faster. So here's the roadmap I want you to follow. Okay, here's the roadmap. Number one, you don't necessarily need full immersion, although it's great, you need frequency. This is because the brain learns through repetition and pattern, not intensity. Pick one or two moments in your daily routine and make them language moments. This can be things like playing during breakfast, but in English, or bathtime songs in English, or my favorite, reading one short story in English before bed. No tiene que ser media hora, it's about consistency. Five minutes a day is better than one hour a week. I know that doesn't seem right, but that's what the science says. The key here is that your kids retain language better when it's tied, atado, when it's tied to predictable routines. Maybe your kid or kids can help you make breakfast and you guys can narrate what you're doing together. You can say things like, first, let's get the plates out and put them on the table. The next step is to put the bread in the toaster. While we wait for the bread to toast, let's get the milk and the colacao or whatever, grab a spoon and mix it in. Once breakfast is ready and we're all sitting down, we can start to eat. So again, retention improves when it's a part of a routine, part of a rhythm, and not just an extra task. I know it might be uncomfortable at first, but you'll be okay. Number two, use media strategically, not passively. Strategically, not passively. So don't just put on Bluey or Moana or cars and have them sit in front of it. Choose something that they love to watch and watch it in English with them. Ask them questions about it while you watch, mientras, while you watch, you can do this in Spanish and have them answer in Spanish too, that's okay. And here's the big thing. Quédate on the frases that they used in la serie and incorporate them into your day-to-day. If Bluey says, let's wash our hands before we eat, then you start using that in your day-to-day. If lightning the queen from cars says, I'm ready to go, start using that too. This seems a bit silly, a little bit ridiculous, but it turns passive watching into active recall, and we love active recall. I do this with my daughter all the time. When I see a moment in which I can quote a character that she loves, I say, Oh, what would Blue say? And we say it together. Remember that everything adds up. Todo suma. Nothing is a miracle solution, but over time these strategies will pay off. And don't worry too much about the accent, about this, but mi asiento no estar, no sé. Hey, we're laying the foundations for the rest of their lives, so let's be patient and just work at it every day. Number three, use labels around the house. Add labels to drawers, cajones, shelves, doors, etc. And not just words, but sentences. These work great because they remind you too. Maybe the bathroom door has a sign that says flush the toilet when you're done. Or the drawer in your kitchen has a sign that says, this is where the spoons, forks, and knives live. This works because visual and verbal repetition creates stronger neural links. Esto es de una teoría que se llama dual coding, dual coding, which states that we learn better when information is presented in two different ways. Number four, this one is maybe my favorite, and if your English isn't great, this is how you use it to your advantage. Learn together. This is awesome because you don't have to fake fluency. Pick an expression or a phrase or whatever every week and learn it together. Try to use it when you can, and if you say it incorrectly or if you use it incorrectly, even better, let them laugh at you for using it wrong. They'll remember that, I promise. They'll remember how to say it and how not to say it, how to use it and how not to use it, and it will become a fun thing for you to do together. They love when they get to correct you. That's one thing I know for sure from my years of teaching. I used to pretend I didn't speak Spanish and I'd say things wrong just so they could correct me. This is also cool because they won't be self-conscious, no, no son hasta como preocupando que le han dicho mal, they won't be self-conscious about their mistakes because they'll see you make them too. So mess it up, laugh it off, and repeat. Number five, connect the language and the time you spend working on the language to emotions. So Steve Jobs, but it's true, we learn way better when we feel things. Maybe on Sundays you can make pancakes and you do some English-related stuff. Maybe you watch a movie together during the week when they're usually not allowed to watch movies, but you do it in English. Soon they'll start connecting that feeling to the language, and over time they'll have a positive association to it, which for me is the most important thing you can do. For a lot of people, English has been really stressful. Maybe for you as a kid in school or at work, that makes you not want to have anything to do with it. I have a friend who plays video games with his son twice a week for around an hour. They don't usually allow him to play video games during the week, but he gets to spend some fun time with his dad on Tuesdays and Thursdays doing something he loves as long as it's in English. The game is in English and his dad speaks to him in English while they do it. That's amazing. It's fun dad and son time, plus video games, which he loves, and the learning is almost a side effect. Honestly, I'm in the pay someone to come to my house and play video games with my kids for two hours in English than pay someone to give him a grammar lesson every week. I know you might hear that and think I'm crazy, but I honestly think it's more effective. I rather do something that has very little resistance, where the language learning, again, happens as a side effect of fun than doing something deliberate but boring. Obviously, if you can get a great teacher that knows how to put together a really fun class, that's great. But sadly, I don't think it's super common. And last but not least, and there are other things by the way, but these are six that I've chosen for this episode. Number six, be Consistent. I know I've said it a few times by now, but it's the most important thing. Some weeks you'll do it a bit less, some a bit more, but you need to keep doing it. Choose a few of these things, o lo que se te ocurra a ti, and stick to it. I cannot stress this enough. It's what's gonna make a difference, I promise. And please try your best to not get frustrated or try your best to not put too much pressure on them. They are going to pick up on that, lo van a notar, they are going to pick up on that, and it's going to slow their progress. I know too many people that are traumatized from doing math homework with their parents and getting yelled at, and they end up hating math. Maybe their parents. Again, the best bilingual environments are not strict. They are alive. They are fun. They are curiosity driven. They are fun driven. I'm not saying classes aren't good. Again, important. I'm not saying classes aren't good. I'm just saying you have to keep it in mind. Kids are driven by curiosity, by connection, and fun. There should be laughter and there should be joy, no ale. And if you can achieve these things, you're on the right track. Don't work against them. Don't work against yourself. Some of us were forced to learn, forced to memorize, and forced to study. And more often than not, although you retain stuff, although you do retain stuff, you don't have a positive association with that thing you were doing. That's why so many people of my generation and older people in Spain have such a bad relationship with the English language. It has been a source of stress and insecurity. You're building the foundation for your kid's future. You're not trying to make him or her a studying machine. Please don't forget that. I'm not saying any of that. And if you have your own methods that are working, please stick to it. I've just seen too many parents putting way too much pressure on their kids and their kids, right? They don't have the self-discipline or the they're not driven by a better job or better opportunity. They don't have all of that. I'm sure a small percentage does, but you know what I'm saying. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's super important to stay positive. And even if you only do 10 minutes, let's say, after 10 minutes your kid starts getting frustrated, okay, make those moments seven minutes. Let them finish those seven minutes while they still have a positive association. Don't think, well, okay, let's just do ten because we already did seven. It's better to stop before, and the next time they'll be more likely to respond positively to you doing an activity in English. Okay. If you can do these things, I think you are setting up your kids to not just be bilingual in terms of maybe they don't have the best accent, that's fine, but they'll be comfortable with the language, they'll want to explore the language, they won't feel self-conscious, and they'll actually want to do stuff with you. Alright, that's it for this episode of English with Dane. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you got something from it, and I hope you try to apply some of it to your life. If you don't have kids, honestly, I feel like this is good advice for you. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok at English with Dane for more content. And as always, if you like this episode or if you like the show, share it with someone who you think would also enjoy it or benefit from it. I would really, really appreciate it. And if there's anything you want me to talk about or something you think that would make the show better, do not hesitate to write me. And for those of you who have written to me recently, thank you for the motivation, thank you for the feedback, and thank you for the kind words. Alright, have a great week. Later, you can't get the most important.