Things Native Speakers Actually Say (And Why You Don’t)

Let's talk about the things that make your English sound natural without you having to think about grammar every two seconds. The phrases that carry tone, attitude, and meaning way beyond the literal words. We're going to cover "chunking", "discourse markers", and the hidden layer of communication that controls tone, intention, and flow.

Transcript

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Let's talk about things native speakers say. I've noticed when I speak to my friends who speak English as a first language, they don't really use many words that you wouldn't know, que no conocerías, that you wouldn't know. Of course, they know more words than you, a lot more actually, but when it comes to the amount of words they use on a daily basis, that gap becomes smaller. So this got me thinking, me hizo pensar, this got me thinking. Our aim shouldn't be to learn every word that comes up and try to remember it and add it to an interminable list of words in English. Our aim should be to identify the patterns that keep coming up over time and to concentrate on adding those patterns to our day-to-day speech. So on this episode, we are going to do exactly that. I've been making a list of things I've heard my English-speaking friends say, and we're gonna make sure you can start using them for yourself. So let's do this. You are listening to episode 47 of season two of English with Dane. Hit it. So I did some research on the number of words native speakers know. It turns out that our best estimate is that an average adult native speaker of English knows somewhere between 20,000 to 35,000 word families. A word family just means a base word and its common variations. So like run would be the base word, and then you would have runs, ran, running, etc. That's a family. So not counting individual variations of words, 20 to 35,000. In comparison, an upper intermediate speaker, think B2, knows around 4,000 to 6,000 word families. This means they can handle most situations, but still have gaps in terms of nuance, speed, and less common topics. A C1 level speaker, or an advanced speaker, let's say, knows around 7 to 9,000, almost 10,000. That's enough to really operate well professionally, follow more complex ideas, and express opinions clearly. And then a C2 level speaker, who is maybe what some people call near native in, knows around 10 to 15,000 word families. So still really far away from that native range, but functionally can operate at a very high level. And this is someone who can represent themselves well in the language. So this last example, the C2 level speaker who is operating at a really high level, knows around 10 to 15,000 word families, right? But native speakers still know way more than that. More than double, actually. Here's where it gets interesting though. When it comes to the number of words used by native speakers on a daily basis, like I mentioned in the introduction, that number drops drastically. On average, an adult native English speaker, taking into account work life, social life, and home life, only uses around 3,000 word families on a daily basis. It actually says 1 to 3,000, but even at the high end of that estimate, it's only around 3,000 word families max. I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second. I'm just gonna let that sink in. The important question though is out of those 3,000 word families that native speakers use daily, how many overlap with the 4 to 6,000 word families that a B2 speaker knows? Another way to say this is how much overlap is there? It's a difficult number to accurately predict, but the estimates are somewhere between 80 to 95%. So the vast majority of the 3,000 word families that native speakers use on a daily basis, you most likely already know. If you're thinking, well, Dane, what about a B1 level speaker? Then the answer is 60 to 80, still pretty high. I think this information gives us a key insight into how we should approach our improvement. It tells us where we should put our efforts. So, in the spirit of this, what I want to do today is go through some of the ways in which native speakers use these words that we all know to communicate. So I've prepared a list of things I've heard native speakers say, and I want you to incorporate them into how you speak so we can start tackling this difference in communication. So let's go through this list together and make sure we internalize these phrases. The first one is here's the thing. This is one that I hardly ever, casinunca, that I hardly ever hear any students use, yet I hear native speakers say all the time. This is an example of something we call a discourse marker, which is a really interesting notion or concept. A discourse marker is a word or phrase that organizes, manages, or frames spoken language rather than adding concrete meaning to the sentence. Again, a discourse marker is a word or phrase that organizes, manages, or frames spoken language rather than adding concrete meaning to the sentence. It's essentially a linguistic tool, a linguistic tool used to guide how a message should be interpreted. It does this by signaling structure, attitude, or intention in communication. So let's break down how the phrase here's the thing works. The first thing I notice, or feel, actually, is that it frames the next sentence as the key point. It tells you, this next thing I'm about to say is the thing you should really pay attention to and consider. It doesn't add new information, it relabels what comes next as important. Now let's go a little bit deeper. Let's take a look at how this discourse marker, here's the thing, about how this discourse marker affects the sentence in terms of structure. Structurally speaking, it acts as a pivot. It makes us go from vague to specific. It goes from opinion to a more grounded point, más aterrizado, a grounded point. It brings us to a resolution. You can say something like, Yeah, I get what you're saying, but here's the thing, we can't afford it. It's like it guided us towards the conclusion or the resolution. It feels different if I say, Yeah, I get what you're saying, but we can't afford it. It feels a little bit different to me. Maybe not in terms of information provided, but there's something deeper that's going on, which leads me to the next aspect of a discourse marker like this provides. So let's take a look at how it signals attitude. So to me, saying here's the thing conveys or transmits controlled honesty. It introduces something that's maybe a bit uncomfortable, but in a measured way. It acts like a mira, te voy a ser sincero. And it's funny how big an impact discourse markers like this actually make. If I hear you start a sentence with mira, te voy a ser sincero, it does something to how I'm going to receive the message. It creates a tiny shift, unpeque, a tiny shift in the room or in the mood of the room. It makes me feel like we're stepping out of the performance for a second, and just being real with each other. It lowers tension and softens swabisa and softens what's coming next at the same time. And another interesting factor is that it also acts as a way to invite attention. If you hear, so here's the thing, your brain goes, Oh, okay, here it comes, this this is the thing, and it makes people lock in to what you're about to say. So we could keep talking about this and we can keep breaking down here's the thing for another hour. But what I'm trying to illustrate or point out is how much information is actually transmitted with such a small phrase. There are so many conversational and interpersonal dynamics at play and huel at play that native speakers know and feel subconsciously, but that second language speakers have to maneuver around and discover. So next time you want to transmit all of this before introducing an idea or an argument or a worry or whatever, and you want to soften it and make people pay attention, reduce tension, drop your guard to connect, etc., use here's the thing. Add it to your list because it will come in handy. It will prove to be useful. So we looked at here's the thing, which is an example of a discourse marker. Now let's take a look at something we call a chunk. A chunk, which translates to is a group of words that we treat as a unit when we retrieve it, when we recall it from our memory, from our library or our index of things we say. It's a stored unit of language. Some examples are I don't know, I think so, makes sense all the time, etc. These are things that you aren't building from scratch. Right now, if you're thinking that here's the thing is also a chunk, you are correct. All discourse markers are chunks, but not all chunks are discourse markers. By the way, you don't need to have a super clear idea of the difference between chunks and discourse markers and collocations for that matter, because there's a lot of overlap between the concepts. The only thing I want you to take away from this episode is that there are bits of language or pieces of language that happen together, words that come as a pack and phrases that our brains treat as a single unit. I don't want you to see language as an endless combination of individual words, but rather big pieces that you can mix and match. Okay, I just wanted to put your mind at ease. So the next chunk I want to talk about is it's not like I so it's not like I wanted to talk to him, it's not like she didn't know what she was doing, it's not like I ignored them. So it's a chunk that works as a defensive frame. You're disagreeing with a narrative that is presented, let's say. You're disagreeing with a narrative that is presented. It's a way to push back, it's a way to correct, it's a way to deny. Like if somebody says, Yeah, he told me that you didn't want to talk to him at the event, someone else could reply, Well, it's not like I ignored him. We just didn't see each other because there were tons of people there. In Spanish, I guess we would use tampoco there, maybe. Like tampoco le ignoré. It's not like I ignored him. This is a cool example because you wouldn't arrive, no llegarías, you wouldn't arrive at that by translating, right? You wouldn't arrive at it's not like I, if you're translating from tampoco le ignoré. If you tried to translate from Spanish, you'd get stuck. I wouldn't know how to translate that from Spanish in a way that made sense either. But now you know that if you want to say tampoco le ignoré, you can retrieve or recall or remember that chunk and say, well, it's not like I, in this case, well, it's not like I ignored him, and boom, a natural sounding sentence that expresses what you want to express with the energy and intention that you wanted to use. Again, a great example of the difference in use of these 3,000 word families. You know all of these words that we're using, but what you maybe haven't been conscious of until now, the lo que nacido conciente hasta ahora, what you haven't been conscious of until now is the way these words are chunked and used. But now you know. The next one is it's a bit much. It's a bit much is used as a controlled understatement, which means you are explaining that something is slightly excessive or maybe more than you're comfortable with. It manages a negative reaction without sounding harsh, since without sounding harsh. It expresses, I'm not loving this, but I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it either. You can use it for behavior that feels a bit over the top, like he texted me 20 times in a row, it was a bit much. Or to express that an opinion is going too far, like, I liked his latest movie, but to say it deserves an Oscar is a bit much. Maybe the music is too intense at the bar you're at, and you say, the music is a bit much, isn't it? So it's like a chill way or a relaxed way to call out something that feels excessive. And finally, we have give or take. Give or take is used to show that a number is just approximate, right? That it's not the exact number, but that it's close enough. It's a way of factoring in a margin of error without making a big deal about it. You're basically saying, this is the range, don't take it literally. You'll almost always hear it after a number. You can use it for time by saying something like, I'll be there in 30 minutes, give or take. You can use it for money, it's a hundred euros, give or take. You can use it for quantity. There were 20 people there, give or take. And you can use it if you want to be slightly more specific. About two hours, give or take 10 minutes. So it's a very natural way to sound practical and relaxed with numbers. By the way, you can of course say about 20 minutes, that's totally fine too. But what we're doing here is trying to sound more conversational, more relaxed, and most importantly, we're trying to emulate that native speaking rhythm. Like with everything else we mentioned in this episode, you are not obligated to use it. But if your goal is to navigate the language like it's actually used by native speakers, I think this is a great way to do it. So go look up chunks and discourse markers and read a little bit more about them and try adding one or two per week. Write down some examples of things you would say, and next time that occasion arises, go for it. Alright, that's it for this episode of English with Dane. That's it from me. Follow the show on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen, and don't hesitate to reach out with comments, questions, frustrations, or anything you might be thinking about. All right, have a good week later, and you're gonna be a good idea.